Friday, January 10, 2014

Days 9 and 10

Well everyone, I had finished day 9 last night but somewhere while posting it my browser crashed and I lost it. So. Yeah, lame. So i'm going to write 9, again, today. Considering that nine is a much nicer topic today than it was yesterday.

Day nine was to write about my day. Simple.
Today, just about half of the burdening stress I've had has been lifted. I called the VA people at the hospital to get a check up on my paperwork and was told that they didn't have it yet, (2 weeks out) but that they did have the findings from the board in Washington D.C. and Rhode Island.

Reason why this is important? Well one, yes, they gave me a disability percentage. Not important how much, but what IS important is that it is enough that my wife and 2 boys will continue to have medical coverage. But the other important part is that now that the process is at this stage, I can seriously make plans to start transitioning. So I applied for jobs today. Which, was kind of weird to do, but comforting at the same time.

Once this paperwork comes in I can request to move my family back up north, and start settling back in the northwest.

So today? Today, was a good day. This morning I was really feeling weighed down, and then when I called nearly all of it just floated away.

This.... This I'm okay with.

Day ten is to discuss your own monomyth, or "Hero's Journey" and where you stand in it.

WHAT..... I haven't had to do something like that since 11th grade Mythology. However, that class is the only reason I even know what the Monomyth is. To be honest, all of you know what one is. It's in tons of movies. A lot of them are referred to as a "Pocahontas Story" now.

Pocahontas is just one example. John Smith comes to the Indians, John Smith gets the trust of the Indians, John Smith is discovered he used to be with the enemy of the Indians, Indians hate John smith, Enemy goes to attack Indians, John Smith tries to warn them, but they don't listen cause they hate his freakin' guts. John ends up saving them, bad guy dies and everyone loves John Smith. MURICA.

Story also replicated almost completely by James Cameron's Avatar.

But basically this picture gives the run down of what a monomyth is, and no not all of them are and udderly frustrating as John Smith. A monomyth is just a standard cast of what a typical hero's story is.



Hercules, Perseus, every other Greek hero... yeah they all run the same kind of circle.

I can't really say that I am. This would take quite a bit to analyze big events to my life to the different sections. But to be honest, and not sound all dramatic, I think i'm in the Abyss stage. Death... maybe not so much but I do feel like right now, is the darkest time of my life to date. But it hasn't been dark to the point of no hope. It's been the kind of dark where you just have a feeling something better is on the other side. I've learned so much about myself and tried to improve on my failures. I'm trying my best to be a better person. I usually compare the challenges in my life by evaluating how much power on my side it takes to get through it. I don't really know how to explain it, but if you had a bucket filled with water and someone came along with a small cup and asked for some, your bucket is more than enough to fill the cup and keep on moving. That how I visualize my challenges.

I feel most of my life has been challenged by things that may have taken parts here and there, and at the time, might have felt like a lot to deal with. But when in hindsight, they might be very small. This situation right now feels like I'm at the bottom of my bucket. Although the news today felt like someone coming along and pouring water into mine, I still feel like these struggles are the ones that are testing my limits.

But who knows. 1, 5 or 10+ years from now, when hindsight is crystal clear, I might look at this segment of my life and think, "It really wasn't as bad as I thought."

But it doesn't make the challenge any less beneficial in my growth as a person, man, father, and husband. All of which I struggle greatly with.

I'm no Ulysses, Perseus, Hercules, Hector, Achilles, Agamemnon, etc... but the good news is that all of their "hero" stories, monomyths, are exactly that: Myths. They are exaggerated stories based off of the lives of men that may or may not have ever existed. But mine, although seemingly insignificant to the world, is mine. And it's real.

"Thundercats! HHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!"

2 comments:

  1. Great post. I believe that "1.5 or 10+ years from now" perspective you mention is crucial to one feeling he or she is succeeding. There is no way we can ever recognize the true value of a given situation we might be experiencing in at that moment. It is only in having hope that we will be able to eventually understand and see the true value, and looking forward, that we will be able to survive those times when we see no value.

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  2. It's wierd for me to think that in 10 years you will be only 3 years older then I am now. You'll be Jeff's age. Getting older is sometimes strange.

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